By Brenda Black
Funerals are not among my top favorite
social gatherings. My ability to empathize deeply makes ministry to
the grieving emotionally draining personally. Still, we count it an
honor to be there for people when they need us most. Together, my
pastor husband and I have counseled and comforted, preached and sung
our way through a hundred sad gatherings and sorrowful good byes. How
wonderful when those farewells can celebrate life more than bemoan
death.
Recently, the mourners came in
smiling, laughing and honoring a long and lovely life. Though little
Ruthella fell shy of 5 foot, she cast a long shadow over her
community and left a legacy. She lived life well for nearly 97 years.
That's a lot of time. Time to be born and time to die. Time to plant
and time to uproot. Time to tear down and time to build. Time to weep
and time to laugh. Time to mourn and time to dance. Time to love and
time to hate. Time for war and time for peace. Though she racked up
decades of opportunities to do it all, she was content to just do
what she did best, and bloom right where she was planted.
Her
vast extended family remembered a woman who spent most of that time
living, planting, building, laughing, dancing and loving on all of
them. She chose kindness, forgiveness and gentleness, whether
enduring hefty trials or just every day messes. According to those
who knew her best, she never lost her temper, never
raised her voice. She just took it all in stride with an easy-going
demeanor. Perhaps her longevity was due to her passivity. She let a
whole lot roll off her near-to-the-ground shoulders that could have
weighed the little lady down. She resisted the temptation to
retaliate. As a result, she wore grace as her garment instead of
rage. Her pattern must be the healthy path to take. It obviously
served her well.
It is a fact, that the opposite is
true. A person filled with anger destroys himself and his reputation.
Hot-tempered fools self-destruct from high blood pressure, heart
attacks and ulcers. They poison relationships and create animosity
and enemies.
Hate begets hate. Rage embitters and
distances. But a quiet and gentle spirit produces peace and praise.
Ruthella's example left a big, beautiful wake of grace.
Frankly, I'd like to live more in her
tiny boots than walk in big, worldly shoes. I'm tired of the rage and
rants in society. Everybody seems to have a bone to pick. At the drop
of a hat, we come out with dukes up and fighting mad over any little
thing. “There is a time for everything, and a season for every
activity under the heavens” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). I'd just like to
see more of it devoted to good things. Maybe if we lived more like
Ruthella and less like rebels, always with a cause, we'd live life
well and others would want it to be long.
