Shift to Perfection

By Brenda Black

Jump! Buck! Stall! Roll! As much as it felt like I was riding a bronc, the reality was a mossy green Dodge Dart Duster had me grabbing the horn and holding on for dear life on EE blacktop! Okay, so Dad came up a little short at teaching me to drive a stick shift. It was no fault of his own. He couldn't risk grinding gears on his only mode of transportation to work. I sort of learned how; I just never perfected it. My dear husband tried to build on the fundamentals many years later in his new, cherry red Ford pickup. He was about as patient as my pop. Together, their combined teaching made me barely capable and certainly far from confident on a manual. Since I couldn't do it perfectly, I chose to go automatic.

Some things in life just don't come easy, especially perfection. We demand it from others, expect it from ourselves, and wind up perfectly disillusioned when we all fall short of the target. The slow fade from grinding gears to giving up can leave us settling for less than best. The final resort all too often is auto-pilot living. Still we are called to perfection.

“Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48)

I tend to be a perfectionist in nearly every area of my life. Why I shunned stick shifts leaves me a little baffled. I'm sure it perplexed my perfectionistic papa as well. No doubt, that's where I get my “drive.” He likes his world in order, everything in its place. He prints in all caps with perfectly sized letters lined up like little soldiers. He attacks every task with diligence and discipline.

This same man has a softer side. I saw a tear in his eye when I was crowned Miss High School Rodeo Missouri and on the day I got married. He's the one who scooped me up and dusted me off when a horse bucked me off or a heifer kicked me. Daddy took me fishing, helped me with long division math and created elaborate fireworks shows on the Fourth of July.

He worked in the city 40 hours a week and drove two hours round trip in rush hour traffic to get home on a Friday night, load up horses and drive two more hours to a youth rodeo. We took family vacations. He teased and tickled and kissed me good night and still tells me out loud “I love you.”

My dad is a great father, but he still isn't perfect and neither am I a perfect daughter. In fact, nobody on the planet is perfect! But what do we do with this challenge from Scripture to be perfect? Fear not! The word perfect has less to do with outward acts and more to do with the work within us. “Perfect” means complete. And it is the Lord who finishes the project. Be confident of this, “that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ – to the glory and praise of God.” (Philippians 1:6-8)

It should bring us blissful peace to know that the Perfect One is doing a perfect work in every believer! God doesn't demand perfect performance, He longs for perfect fellowship.

“I write to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name. I write to you, fathers, because you have known him who is from the beginning. I write to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one. I write to you, dear children, because you have known the Father. I write to you, fathers, because you have known him who is from the beginning. I write to you, young men, because you are strong and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one.” (1 John 2:12-14)

The emphasis is on knowing the Lord! When we fall short, John explains the way of grace. “But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense – Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.” (1 Jn. 2:1b-2)

Dad failed at teaching me to drive a stick shift. I failed at learning. But those old sins are forgiven. Just the other day, my daddy trusted me to drive his brand new Explorer (automatic)...in the rain...in the city... because perfect love drives out fear!

If my imperfect father has such affection for me, how much more my Perfect Father in Heaven.

Happy Father's Day to all you dads who are a work in progress and perfectly appreciated for all you do and all you are in Christ.

**Special Note: Thank you to all the facebook suggestions for a topic this week. You gave me some perfectly superb ideas!

copyright 2011 Brenda Black

Filling the Grandparent Gap

By Brenda Black

Something besides radio active material, toxic cucumbers or earthquakes has hit the West Coast. It's a new kind of babysitter. She's wiser and older, and comes with decades of experience. And she doesn't spend your time or dollar texting her boyfriend while she's in charge of your kids. Rent-a-Grandma^TM is a new company meeting domestic staffing needs in the Los Angeles area, with their sights set on going national.

At http://rentagrandma.com, they describe their employees as “screened mature (age 50+) women who are only the most professional, experienced staff and meet the standards you will demand for your own 'Grandma'.”

I think this is an idea that has come of age, literally, and might just introduce some common sense along with safe child care back to the domestic scene in America. Instead of latchkey kids or institutionalized daycare, families can look like families again and school age kids can come home to cookies and milk and the warmth of human contact instead of games on line or internet chat.

My sons have been blessed with “real” grandmas and grandpas who have influenced their lives in countless ways. Sweet treats, tickle attacks, card games, overnight stays, an ever-supportive audience to any event they've ever entered and lots of lovin' is still offered up to them in steady doses. More importantly, they've garnered decades of wisdom, prayer cover and the privilege of friendship from an older generation.

We haven't always lived close to kin; in those times the Lord added rather than subtracted by providing older, loving friends who became like family. And we didn't have to rent them!

We enjoyed the affection of Granny Fern and Papa Ralph when Austin was an infant. I came home from the hospital with my first born to an air conditioned house because of their thoughtfulness. They lavished us with time and entertainment that included counting humming birds, fishing and ice cream excursions. Granny Fern kept me posted on any new little thing that my baby attempted and Papa Ralph hand crafted Austin's first cradle and a rocking horse that sits in my living room to this day.

By the time Austin turned three and little brother Cooper was added to the picture, we had relocated right next door to another elderly couple two counties west. Damon and Wilma spoiled our family with home baked pies, sweet backyard visits and extra eyes to keep track of active boys. Cooper and Grandpa Damon shared a birthday and every year they picked the first apple from one of his trees to celebrate. As the boys grew, the roles shifted. Instead of the neighbor watching out for the kids, I enlisted them to watch out for Damon. They reported if he was on a ladder or getting too hot in the garden and I'd make an excuse to “just stop by” and make sure he was okay. That's what families do.

With yet another move, we gained Donnie and Vernille, who welcomed our family into their own and included us on every occasion. They prayed with us and for us and fed us and blessed us over and over. Austin gleaned farming wisdom from Donnie and talked cattle and tractors. Both of our sons witnessed how much love breaks down generational barriers and melds hearts together in friendship. We remain the fortunate recipients of sincere prayer from this lovely couple no matter the present distance.

All of these grandparents are part of our family history. And there are dozens more in every church where we ministered, in each city we lived. Their precious influence was never for sale or rent. It was given and received in love and worth millions. That's why the Scriptures teach us to “Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God.” (Leviticus 19:32a)

God just keeps providing the opportunity to be blessed and to bless. When we left our now adult son 13 hours from home two weeks ago, it was a little easier since meeting an older woman at the church he'll attend. She was warm and kind and generous and extended the grandma factor wholeheartedly by inviting my son for a home-cooked meal whenever he wanted some company. The grandparent gap filled yet again.

Rebuilding Lives with God's Helping Hands

By Brenda Black

I'm writing my column this morning in route to Joplin for another day of volunteer service. Our family is working in a warehouse sorting donations for distribution. It is mind numbing to take in the devastation and life-altering to be serving any way we can to help so many precious people. I fear my words can't express the depth nor breadth of emotions we're feeling. Don't stop praying or aiding Joplin, my friends. Together we can make a difference and declare that God is among us and at work.

“But I prayed, 'Now strengthen my hands.'” – Nehemiah 6:9b

Mountains of mass destruction lay piled in heaps of what used to be communities, offices, and stores. Among the gnarled rubble also reside the accumulations of life-long memories of thousands of families forever changed from monstrous storms. I've been to Joplin. I've seen it and still cannot believe the gargantuan swath of death and debris. The clean up and reconstruction will take months, if not years. And it will take millions of man hours to rebuild a great city. I believe it will be done by the hands of God-fearing men and women who realize the enormity of the project, but know there is far more at stake than boards and bricks.

When Nehemiah led the Israelite nation in building the Jerusalem wall, he counted the cost and knew what level of commitment it required for completion. He knew for whom he built it. He also knew all too well that his greatest resources were the volunteers who labored day after day and what was needed to keep the work going.

“But out of reverence for God...I devoted myself to the work on this wall. All my men were assembled there for the work...Furthermore, a hundred and fifty Jews and officials ate at my table, as well as those who came to us from the surrounding nations. Each day one ox, six choice sheep and some poultry were prepared for me, and every ten days an abundant supply of wine of all kinds. In spite of all this, I never demanded the food allotted to the governor, because the demands were heavy on these people. Remember me with favor, O my God, for all I have done for these people.” (Nehemiah 5:15c-19)

Out of reverence for God, our family is devoting some time to the work of the Joplin wall. And let me tell you, the job is so enormous, that our service is a drop in a bucket six miles long and a half mile wide that expands to the depths of thousands of human souls and reaches into heaven. While our contributions of volunteer hours will be sporadic, there are thousands in Joplin daily dealing with the logistics of meeting insurmountable needs. There are layers of details involved with utilizing and mobilizing the masses who show up to help. Traffic controllers need controlled; base camp cooks have to know how many to cook for; managers are needed to organize mass distribution and ministers must be available at a moment's notice. Demolition and construction crews need directions on where to go. And truckers have to have a place to unload. And the work goes on and on and on and local residents are assuming the high calling of orchestrating the massive relief efforts. These are the true wall builders!

We met many of them on Wednesday at College Heights Christian Church. They are hauling goods, sorting donations, distributing food and clothing, water and words of comfort. They are baking cookies for crews and sitting with shocked families who are trying to forget nightmarish horrors while having to deal with overwhelming hardship.

When I can't be hands-on in Joplin, I plan to be holding these faithful saints up in prayer for I am certain their bodies will grow weak and weary and outside forces will tell them it can't be done. Nehemiah faced such opposition and he resolved to “carrying on a great project.” (Neh. 6:3) His enemies tried to frighten the wall builders and taunted them with stinging words: “Their hands will get too weak for the work, and it will not be completed.” (Neh. 6:8-9a)

But Nehemiah prayed: “Now strengthen my hands.” (Neh. 9b)

The result: The wall was completed! “When all our enemies heard about this and all the surrounding nations saw it, our enemies lost their self-confidence, because they realized that this work had been done with the help of our God. “ (Neh. 6:15-16)

And so it shall be with Joplin. As believers pray for Christian brothers forging ahead in love and purpose, the world will watch and know that God-honoring people rebuilt Joplin – brick by brick, board by board and one life at a time through loving, generous, selfless helping hands.

Weary Words

By Brenda Black

Words won't come this week, as I scour my brain for just the right turn of a phrase to express my deepest sorrow for people harmed, homes demolished, jobs lost, and lives ended or altered in the span of ten minutes on a Sunday night in Southwest Missouri. So let my words be few and what is needed arrive in plenty. Hands, help, blood, money, spare rooms, a drink of water and unending prayer are all critically necessary for the tornado victims shocked, stranded, worried, wounded and bereaved.

In the wake of such horrific devastation, it is hard to know where to begin and even more uncertain just how long it will take for the nightmare to end. My words mean so little at such a time as this, but I know the Word of God is powerful and true and when it goes forth it is life. It is help and hope and a refuge in times of trouble. May the words of Scripture from the Holy Bible minister to the masses and bolster courage and peace and joy in the days ahead. May victims be comforted and volunteers be motivated to persevere and overcome such tragedy. May the Word bring blessings upon neighbors and friends – those who are now homeless and the public servants rushing to their aid.

“I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold...

“The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.” (Psalm 18:1-6)

Even when our words seem feeble, God hears the heart's plea. If those overwhelmed by unimaginable fear cry out to Him, He will hear. For God cares not how simple or magnanimous the vernacular, He listens for the broken and searching and He longs to draw near.

I pray that people turn to God for help in this time of trouble for He alone can rescue. He alone can save. And may the Lord send the hands and feet of humanity to touch the lives of those so desperately in need of his mercies.

Dear God, help us wait in hope for You - our help and our shield. In You, may hearts rejoice for the lives that were spared and the help that you send. Teach us to trust in Your holy name always – in good times and bad. “May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you.” (Ps. 33:20-22 vs 20-21 paraphrased)

You may be the answer to someone's prayer. Here's how you can help: Visit http://technolog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/05/23/6700666-joplin-tornado-how-to-help for an extensive list of reputable networks and agencies and volunteer programs managing donations, volunteers, animal rescue, medical assistance and communication for disaster relief in Missouri.

Ready, Set, Go!

By Brenda Black

What do you have planned for the weekend? For a solid week we've been gravitating to graduations, celebrating accomplishments of Kindergartners through college students with cake and cookies, beef and banquets, baccalaureates and lots of cards stuffed with cash. And the revelry and milestone moments just keep coming. As a matter of fact, I have events scheduled through the first week of June that have to do with graduations. That is if I'm here to attend them.

According to eBible Fellowship, I may not be available past May 21, 2011, the day their scholars have determined is the day believers in Christ will leave this earth. Whether you think them quacks or right on track is irrelevant. If they are wrong, it is still just a matter of time before the Lord returns in judgment. But if they are correct in their biblically formulated math equation, a great day of reckoning is mere hours away. Are you ready?

I've heard the rally cries multiple times in my life and typically dismissed them. Oh, I can remember back when there were 88 reasons why the Lord was going to come in 1988. And I got a bit stirred up. But this time I'm filled more with anticipation and the thrill that this could be the day rather than fear or worry that I had more I wanted to do while on this planet. I knew the Lord back then, but now I am more in love with my Savior than ever before and I am ready to see Him. I long to be free of the wicked ways of this world and rescued from disease and sorrow. I can't wait to see friends and family already in heaven. They'll be waving me across that River of Life and I'll come out of the water, soaking wet in paradise where I'll hug their necks! I'm ready!

To come to a place of such acceptance is only by the grace of the One who makes it possible to enter into salvation. “Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.” (Acts 4:12) I'm ready because I'm redeemed. My mind is set, my heart is set, my eyes are fixed on the prize. Like Paul penned in 2 Timothy, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day – and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.” (2 Timothy 4:7-8)

Do you long for His return? Are you ready? Are you set? Then who would you not want to leave behind if you are going so quickly?

I've known tiny infants to elderly saints who have already departed – some without warning, after suffering long bouts of illness and some suddenly just ended. Time is always of the essence. If this Saturday is the day we are catapulted into eternity, then what do we have to lose by sharing our faith and offering such a great escape to those who would otherwise be bound by chains for the rest of their days. And if this Saturday passes by without incident, the call is no less important. For there will come a day of reckoning. Go tell those you know and those you love and those you've just met that Jesus is Lord and Savior and Judge. Be about your Father's business every day you live so that others may know God is real and He has made great changes in your life. Show them the Way, the Truth and the Life.

It doesn't take hundreds of years of study to calculate the end result. Whenever it happens, it will happen in an instant so we just better be ready to go. “Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed – in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed.” (1 Corinthians 15:51-52) And in 1 Thessalonians 4:16-18, we are told again, “For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words.”

Get ready! Get set! Go!

Bad Advice

By Brenda Black

The scene opens with old Mordecai weeping and wailing. He wears shabby clothes, his face unwashed, hair uncombed. He has sworn off food and wanders down city streets, expressing his great fear and grief. His niece Esther learns of her uncle's anguish from within the king's palace, where she resides in comfort. She sends garments by way of her attendants to clothe the elder relative and grant him dignity along with provision. But nothing of this world will stop the Jew from seeking God when his people are under threat of annihilation, at the request of Haman, one of the king's royal officials.

Sounds like a Shakespearian plot, but this is no work of a playwright. This is Jewish history, during the time of Xerxes, who ruled a kingdom stretching from India to Cush, in the citadel of Susa, in the third year of his reign. (book of Esther)

Three key performers approach the grave situation in vastly different ways, providing 21^st century readers a picture of contrasts: godly counsel verses bad advise.

We've already seen Mordecai's approach – vocal outcries and visible pleas for God's intervention to halt an edict for the destruction of the Jews bought with Haman's donation to the royal treasury. He implored the God of the Jews to intervene, and enlisting Esther.

“Hathach [Esther's attendant] went back and reported to Esther what Mordecai had said. Then she instructed him to say to Mordecai, 'All the kings' officials and the people of the royal provinces know that for any man or woman who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned the king has but one law: that he be put to death. The only exception to this is for the king to extend the gold scepter to him and spare his life...'

“When Esther's words were reported to Mordecai, he sent back this answer: 'Do not think that because you are in the king's house you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?' (Esther 4:9-14)

Esther's response to the dire circumstances reveals a model of faith fortified in humility.

“Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: 'Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my maids will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.'” (Es. 4:15-16)

Esther prayed, fasted, sought the prayer of others and waited for God to answer and He delivered courage and a plan so simple.

“Haman went out that day happy and in high spirits. But when he saw Mordecai at the king's gate and observed that he neither rose nor showed fear in his presence, he was filled with rage against Mordecai...

“Calling together his friends and Zeresh, his wife, Haman boasted to them about his vast wealth, his many sons, and all the ways the king had honored him and how he had elevated him above the other nobles and officials. 'And that's not all,' Haman added. 'I'm the only person Queen Esther invited to accompany the king to the banquet she gave. And she has invited me along with the king tomorrow. But all this gives me no satisfaction as long as I see that Jew Mordecai sitting at the king's gate.'

“His wife Zeresh and all his friends said to him, 'Have a gallows built, seventy-five feet high, and ask the king in the morning to have Mordecai hanged on it. Then go with the king to the dinner and be happy.' This suggestion delighted Haman, and he had the gallows built.” (Es. 5:9-14)

Haman did not pray. He did not fast. He sat around a table with friends and family and as he gorged, he bragged about his great standing, rather than humble himself. Instead of a simple, wise plan, his crew came up with a hair-brained idea that would ultimately leave Haman swinging from his own gallows.

Mordecai and Esther received godly counsel that empowered them with unspeakable peace and fearless fortitude. Haman's bad advice left him red faced, foolish, ignorant, and dead.

Why a lesson on Jewish history? Because history repeats itself. There are lots of young graduates currently embarking on unknown destinies, searching for jobs, wondering how they are going to pay off thousands of dollars of college debt. Here in the pages of Esther is sound encouragement. Seek first His kingdom. Get wisdom. Do not sit at the feet of scoffers. Don't buy into the American dream that solely revolves around Me, Me, Me. Invest yourself into others, serve generously, humble yourself even as you are vying for the nod of an employer. If you want true peace and fearless confidence that you are on the right path – pray and fast. Enlist not the sage old advice of family and friends, but ask for their prayers and listen for God's counsel.

It's okay to be fearless. It's never a good idea for a grad to be foolish. Esther risked it all to do the right thing and it certainly wasn't all about her own comfort or standing. It had more to do with God's timing and His wisdom.

For such a time as this, dear graduates, seek the Lord in all your ways and pursue the things that please Him. And parents and friends: if you have any advice to offer, be sure you pray before you give it!

Experiencing a "D" Deficiency

By Brenda Black

Trolling: As much as I'd like to associate the word with big bass feeding in cool waters under low-hanging limbs, the only comparison I can readily make is I feel like the loaded, limp limb. I've been fighting that feeling you get when you have spring fever, but no spring in your step. Nutritionists and psychiatrists contend the low mood between changing seasons is often attributed to a Vitamin D deficiency following months of cloudy, cold weather and our distance from the equator. They even have a clever name for the down-in-the-dumps “D” deficiency. They call it “SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)”. How appropriate.

According to The Cleveland Clinic Foundation, some of the symptoms of SAD are fatigue, increased need for sleep, decreased levels of energy and difficulty concentrating. Check! Got all of those. Besides, I just can't seem to put my finger on this feeling except for overwhelming sadness.

Though the days are getting longer and the sun is shining brighter, current events aren't helping the condition. A heaviness sweeps over me when I think of the death and destruction our nation just witnessed as tornadoes ripped lives apart and left folks destitute and grief stricken. The death of Osama has left me more melancholy than merry, having just read Last Man Down, a personal account of a firefighter's survival and escape from the World Trade Center on that dreadful September morning in 2001. My heart goes back ten years and reminds me of the breach in safety I'd known most of my life and conjures up new anxiety over retaliation from enemies known and enemies new.

World crises and national economy can put the jolliest of souls in a funk. Why, just filling up my gas tank makes me cranky! Surely this all has something to do with Vitamin D deficiency!

It is now known that Vitamin D plays a huge part in boosting the immune system. One of the best ways to prevent colds, flu, cancer, or any chronic disease is with Vitamin D3. But I think there is more which is necessary for a remedy to the ills and worries of this world. I need a big dose of Vitamin D from the sun, plus a few other “D's” I'd like to mention.

*A Daily Dose of God's Word of encouragement. “Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day...” (Acts 17:11) I'd rather be noble and eager than negative and indifferent. A study in the Scriptures helps with attitude and outlook.

*Direction that Out-Distances the gloom and doom of this world. “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18) This troubled world is not my home. I'm just passing through.

*Discipline. Sometimes we bring the troubles on ourselves, but God redeems it by molding us into better people. “And you have forgotten the word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:

'My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.'

“Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

“Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 'Make level paths for your feet,' so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.” (Hebrews 12:5-13)

When the sun shines on your skin, ultraviolet rays activate a form of cholesterol which is present in the skin, converting it to Vitamin D. It keeps us strong and healthy. When the Son of God shines into your soul, the Holy Spirit is activated to bolster our faith, strengthen our resolve and convert sinful humans into holy children of God. That's one powerful deity at work!

If you are experiencing the darkness of worry and fear perpetuated by the sad, but temporary circumstances of this world, then look up! Soak up some Son and think about heaven. A sure-fire cure for the ills of this world is a certain destiny. Get your Vitamin D and delight in the truth that God is not disturbed and neither do you have to be.

copyright 2011 Brenda Black