Brenda Black
In a dog-eat-dog world, one misspoken
word is like fresh meat to a starving stray. And that one word, from
one sentence at one moment in time can mean ruination to the person
behind the lips that uttered it. Even if explained, retracted or
clarified, a loosed word is not easily tamed.
The whole process is not entirely
fair, for none of us is perfect. We each often speak before we think.
It's just that most of us don't have 50 microphones shoved in our
faces recording it, then playing it over and over again. So tell me,
how do you think you would fare if every time you opened your mouth,
someone was waiting to pounce and devour your reputation or your
career? I know I would panic and prefer being a mute than being that
fresh meat for the media.
This past week made me think about
some of my own verbal blunders. A slip of the tongue has left me
looking insensitive, stupid, arrogant, indifferent, sassy or unkind.
I've jumped to conclusions. I've ignored obvious clues that would
guide me through a set of circumstances. There have been times when I
wish I could erase certain words and start all over again. Yes, words
-- I've had to eat them.
Ever been there? Said one thing, meant
another? Have you spoken and then freaked because you were terribly
misinterpreted? I've lost friends and gained enemies over seemingly
insignificant, ill-spoken words! At times, I've tried desperately to
set the record straight – to no avail. More words meant to mend
just splintered the boards I was trying to nail back in the fence.
There is power in the tongue – the
power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21). Words aptly spoken are
sweet (Prov. 25:11) and words misspoken, like poison (Prov. 15:1-4).
And since none of us has mastered the golden lips and silver tongue
of no mistakes when it comes to loquacious expressions, perhaps
there's room for grace when someone else steps on his tongue.
Remember how we should pray:
“'Forgive us our debts, as we also
have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but
deliver us from the evil one.'
“For if you forgive men when they
sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if
you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your
sins.” (Matthew 6:12-15)
Instead of assuming the worst, how
about extending a second chance. Rewind! Do-over! Please, explain
yourself! I'll listen to you, if you'll do the same for me.
In addition to praying to forgive,
Jesus instructed that we should be very careful when we condemn
others without taking a hard look at ourselves.
“'Do not judge, or you too will be
judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and
with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
“'Why do you look at the speck of
sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in
your own eye? How can you say to your brother, “Let me take the
speck out of your eye,” when all the time there is a plank in your
own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and
then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's
eye.'” (Matthew 7:1-5)
Whether it's a plank in the eye or
fumbling lips, it's more important that we help a brother or sister
out of sin, than condemn them.
It's sure to happen again. Some slip
of the tongue will send the pack circling and salivating. When it
happens, how will you react? With patience, forgiveness, or
consideration? Will you check the facts, understand the pressure, or
assume the worst of the person? Are you going to treat the vocal
fumbler as you'd want to be treated?
I'm trying to learn and practice
respect in a land of hyper assumption where always the worst is
assumed, and often fabricated. God gave us two ears and one mouth for
a reason -- so we'd listen more and talk less. He must have known
how much trouble we'd get ourselves into with teeth and tongue and
lips. But He also gave us heads to think and hearts to forgive. How
about we put those to work as much or more the next time somebody
says something he or she regrets.
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