By Brenda Black
Multitasking used to serve me well. I
could conquer seemingly unlimited chores simultaneously with order
and ease. Oh, those were the good old days when all the neurons were
firing full force. Back then, a half dozen work projects and as many
personal thoughts could occupy brain space equally. Now, I'm lucky if
I can remember what I'm doing one duty at a time -- while in the
middle of it! Forget the little details of life. If I don't write it
down, it's history. And when too many tasks are tugging for my
attention, sometimes I completely shut down and simply have to
reboot.
Since the brain is slowing while
awake, it strikes me as most aggravating that it would be alert when
I'm trying to sleep. One night this week, I sprang awake at 2:00 in
the morning with matters whirring in the gray matter that should have
had the courtesy to wait till sunrise at least. Last night, it
occurred three times! I think in the quietness my mind races ahead.
Additionally, in those still moments worries seem to explode from
their hiding place where they've been tucked behind the busyness of
the day, conveniently ignored.
My jolt upright was alarming enough to
wake my husband the other night, who wondered what had me so keyed
up. "I don't know," I lied, fully aware of the fears and
worries that had just wrangled my z's and stolen my sleep. "Just
breathe. Go back to sleep," I coached myself. "You can't
do a thing about any of it right now."
Though I am feeling frazzled and worn
from a raft of commitments already conquered, and ones yet to face,
it isn't the absence of a sound night's rest that troubles me. It's
my lack of trust in the One who holds the days and nights and
everything that fills them. Now, not only do I have a running list of
deadlines and details clicking through my noggin, but bells and
whistles are going off in my head! The alarm is blaring a warning
about the pattern of thought I've succumbed to in the past several
days. Fretting over too much work, too many bills and too little time
gave me a headache. And when I allowed myself to mentally labor over
even bigger matters beyond my control, I felt a heaviness of despair
start to creep over mind, body and soul.
When the head is too full, it's time
to listen to the wisdom of the heart. I know I cannot handle any of
this alone. I need to trust the One who knows exactly what is needed
and I must release the worries to Him. But that is often easier said
than done!
My human struggle is nothing new to
God. The book of Psalm, chapter 107 highlights the failings of
humanity and proclaims the gracious patience of God who redeems and
restores those who wrestle between feelings and faith. “Some
wandered in desert wastelands, finding no way...they were hungry and
thirsty and their lives ebbed away.” “Some sat in darkness and
the deepest gloom...” “Some became fools through their rebellious
ways and suffered affliction because of their iniquities.”
“Others...in their peril, their courage melted away...”
In every instance God meets the weary
and wounded, the faltering and foolish with His great power and love.
When they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, “he delivered
them from their distress.” “He saved them...” “He sent forth
his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.” “He
stilled the storm to a whisper.” “He lifted the needy out of
their affliction.”
This particular song ends with
“Whoever is wise, let him heed these things and consider the great
love of the Lord.” (Ps. 107:43)
My multi tasks for today: heed and
consider, trust and release. Then get some sleep. I pray you'll do
the same.
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