BTS and an Empty Nest

By Brenda Black

Once upon a time, I was shopping for backpacks, pencils and ruled paper in early August. The approaching autumn and school activities merited new clothes and shoes that fit our young sons. It hit me like a ton of bricks how long ago that now seems, as I watched hoards of families stock piling school supplies on “No Sales Tax” weekend. I nearly bought a box of crayons and a coloring book for myself, just for the sake of nostalgia. Besides I've heard it's great therapy for alleviating stress.

Funny how, on this side of time and distance, one only remembers the wonderment of back-to-school preps. We deny there were hassles and headaches. We conveniently forget how big of a dent the new clothes, paste and gym shoes put into our pocketbook. All we recall is smiling, cherub faces gleaming over Disney lunch boxes.

Perhaps this pollyannish mindset is the transfer of our own childhood memories upon our offspring. Truth be told, I still have my pink Tinker Bell lunch box. To me it still smells like tuna fish sandwiches – the good kind with sweet, homemade pickle relish and just the right amount of Miracle Whip -- lovingly cut by my mamma into perfect triangles that little hands could easily grip.

Wouldn't it be nice to turn that polyurethane insulated lunch bag into a time machine so that every time your baby opened it, the clock stood still and they stayed little. Then, once in a while, we could borrow it's magic, flip up the lid and step inside and go back to our own time of innocence.

So much for dreaming. We can't stop time and we can't go back. With the honor of motherhood comes happy memories as well as heartache. It would be nice if babies came with a guarantee of staying tiny. No colic, no tears, no toddler crashes, no loneliness on the playground and no teenage tragedies. It would be comforting to not have to worry over tough tests or deceitful friends or twenty-something break-ups. We'd like to think our child's life a bed of roses and innocence. But in the end, such a child would be spoiled and weak and have no history or meaningful memories. For all of life's experiences shape them into men and women we'll respect and upon which we may even depend. The whole of it is what makes watching them grow up worth the pain of letting it happen.

The instinct to provide and protect never ends. A desire to catch them before they fall or kiss all hurt away is protocol in the parent guidebook. That's what moms and dads do. We buy the supplies, we shuttle them to the practices. We check their progress and we carry their burdens like they were heaped in a backpack and strapped to our own shoulders. We watch them grow, without our permission, and cling to the memories of when they were little.

Then, one day, we look up to them. We step under the arm of a towering son, instead of holding him in our lap. We laugh like adult friends instead of warring like a mother at odds with her teenage daughter. We watch them launch. We celebrate their marriage. We welcome grandbabies and start the process all over!

Back to school takes me back in time. Back to when my children were babies. Yep, I think I'm going to go get that coloring book and use it as a bit of therapy to occupy and ease my mind, here in my empty nest.

First-Hand Benefits of a Life of Obedience

By Brenda Black

“As Jesus was saying these things, a woman in the crowd called out, 'Blessed is the mother who gave you birth and nursed you.'

“He replied, 'Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.'” (Luke 11:27-28)

It's true, you know. Though a mother is to be praised for nurturing and teaching her child, the child who adheres to her wisdom and love is the one most blessed. While the mother is filled with joy for her child's wise choices, the son or daughter reaps the long-lasting benefits!

Jesus' bold statement is not spoken disrespectfully as a way to disregard the godly woman who bore Him. Rather, he is reinforcing what He taught time and again to his followers – walk worthy, live holy, receive life abundantly.

He taught the benefits of a life of obedience from a mountain top: “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.” (Matthew 5:6-9)

He helped Peter discover all he would gain through a life of faith when he sat down and had a heart to heart with his disciples.

“When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, 'Who do people say the Son of Man is?'

“They replied, 'Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.'

“'But what about you?' he asked. 'Who do you say I am?'

“Simon Peter answered, 'You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.'

“Jesus replied, 'Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.'” (Matthew 16:13-20)

Jesus must have been thrilled to hear such conviction come from Peter. He surely was proud of how far this motley crew of of hand-picked hopefuls had come in their short time together. How sweet, then, to impart such a blessing and know that it would be for Peter's own good, as well as the kingdom's. Parents feel such pride, teachers experience such satisfaction. And our Holy Savior smiles when we get it!

It does my heart good to have sons who choose rightly, for then I know the promises of which they will profit: “The Lord does not let the righteous go hungry...Blessings crown the head of the righteous...The memory of the righteous will be a blessing...The wise in heart accept commands...The man of integrity walks securely...The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life...Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning...Wise men store up knowledge...The wages of the righteous bring them life...He who heeds discipline shows the way to life...The fear of the Lord adds length to life...The prospect of the righteous is joy...The way of the Lord is a refuge for the righteous...” (Proverbs 10)

How much will they individually be lavished by God for clean living and obedience to Christ's teachings if I point them to Him? Incredibly more than I could ever give!

Many in the world want to live off of the laurels of godly ancestors. But each must answer for his own actions. Don't get me wrong. It's great to have noble parents who follow God faithfully. I desperately pray that I have been a godly role model for my family. God blesses such intentional living. But no one can live on another's standing with God. We have to know the Savior personally and grow as a believer to reap the rewards hidden in His Word that He wants to lavish upon our lives on a daily basis.

“All your sons will be taught by the Lord, and great will be your children's peace,” says Isaiah in chapter 54. He is speaking to the House of Israel, but God's promises are for all those ingrafted and called His dearly loved. So when Isaiah concludes that “This is a heritage of the servants of the Lord,” then we can rejoice! Everyone of us, from generation to generation, who choose LIFE are blessed when we hear God's Word and obey it!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

By Brenda Black

I loved it! I loved the lack of clutter, the clean white background, the beautiful faces of children of every color. I loved the simplicity and the purity of the message. I loved their expressions and personalities. I loved being stopped in my tracks as I was exiting a restaurant, surprised that finally there was commercial worth hearing, seeing and believing. Thank you, Focus on the Family, for broadcasting John 3:16.

By now, you've probably heard the buzz, seen the ad replayed over the internet hundreds of times. Still it doesn't get old. “Wow!” the little doll at the end proclaims. Out of the mouth of this babe comes the most profound of truths we cannot explain. Why God loves us enough to send His Son remains a mystery. Ancient citizens of planet earth despised and rejected the Creator of the Universe. Today they mock and hate Him still. Yet, He gave...and continues to save. Wow! What else is there to say?

It would do this world a world of good if we would stop and listen to the wisdom of innocence. For example, here are a couple of logical kid conclusions to a few over-used adult idioms.

“You get out of something what you..............see pictured on the box.”

“Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and............you have to blow your nose.”

Children are like wet cement, someone once said. Whatever falls on them makes an impression. However, some of our abstract adult concepts merely lay on the surface and never quite sink in. A kindergarten student reveals the assumptions we often make when communicating with children. On the first day of school, the teacher said, “If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers.” A little voice from the back of the room asked, “How will that help?” her request made no sense at all when you think like a kid.

When will we learn that the more complex we make it, the less influence we wield. Kids want the truth, not a bunch of philosophical hogwash tainted by political correctness or radical prejudice. They deserve the truth - free of clutter, clean, beautiful, in living color. We're the adults and we should be teaching a simple and pure message. Our children are worth it!

Children give us unconditional love and brazen honesty. They provide the most glorious sound in the world – a giggle. Kids are insightful and fearless. They are creative and brilliant if given a chance. They give us so much! What are we giving back?

"The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children," says martyred theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer. His standard comes from none other than the Christ himself.

“[Jesus] called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: 'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.

“'But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin!'” (Matthew 18:2-7a)

If the test of morality is what society does for its children, then the test of the heart is if we'll listen. Jesus took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them. Once more, we are the benefactors of God's love through the blessings of children and God's great wisdom and truth delivered from the mouths of babes. Remember that on Sanctity of Human Life Sunday, Jan. 22.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” That's John 3:16 in case you missed the commercial. It's the truth we need to be living if you care about our children.

Snow Days

Snow Days
By Brenda Black

Slick-soled cowboy boots make great pond skates. I learned that when I was in elementary school. Not in the classroom of course. Rather, when school was dismissed because of snow!

After Dad approved safe passage, my brother, sister and I swept and shoveled snow that covered the glassy base of our above water, winter city. We created wide, sparkling paths to serve as roads and packed and piled snowballs for houses, walls and forts. We worked up a sweat as we labored so hard at play. Little by little we peeled off layers of coats and scarves until we could move more freely. And that's when we discovered you can slide a long way in cowboy boots across a frozen sheet. We raced, played tag, pretended we were cops and robbers, race car drivers or Olympic speed skaters. We challenged each other with sleds and sped and crashed with great abandon. Just kids clad in stocking caps, gloves, layers of socks and cowboy boots, we spent hours out in the snow.

If not on the pond, we were at the top of a hill located either direction from home. Our hilly road was always the first one closed and the neighborhood took advantage of toboggan runs paved by the city. Moms and Dads and kids alike scrambled and crawled up icy slopes then glided down to the area that leveled out right in front of our driveway. The ride was thrilling on sleds with runners and even more exciting atop inner tubes. Folks flew down on trash bags, tractor tires, inflatable toys or just did a belly flop at the top and went as far as the frozen road would take them. Ah, snow days, what fun!

Maybe the best part was the warm-up after a playful day in the tundra. I can still feel the prickling sensation as my fingers and toes painfully thawed in front of the gas stove. We jockeyed for the best seat in front of the gaping warm mouth of the oven, while Mom whipped up a homemade pan of hot chocolate. She didn't opt for the kind from a paper pouch, but made hers with real milk, sugar, vanilla, cocoa and love. Ah, snow days, how cozy the thought.

This winter we've experienced hassles and headaches with icy roads, sloppy lots and frozen pipes. I know it has been taxing on both man and beast to endure the cold and wet day in and day out. But for a moment, stop and look at the snow in a different way – through the eyes of a child. Run to the window when you first wake up and feel that giddy delight when you hear your school's name on the radio. Notice the sparkling beauty when the sun hits a drift untouched and pristine. Build a snowman, mold a fort, have a snowball fight like you did when you were young. For just an hour or only one day, or five minutes if that's all you can muster, see the beauty, remember the magic, enjoy the privilege of the variety of seasons here in Missouri. Ah snow days, make the best out of them.

Here are some tips for turning snow days into fond memories:
Snow Ice Cream
3 cups loose, clean snow
2 tbsp. milk
1/4 cup sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
Mix all the ingredients, sample the result and add more sugar and vanilla extract to taste.


Snow Painting
Mix water and food coloring in a spray bottle. Narrow the stream for fine line drawings and widen the stream for splattering effects and filler color.


Snow Sculpting
The wet, heavy snow we've had lately is perfectly suited for snow sculpting. Much like wet sand, you will be able to pack and create all sorts of shapes. Use the edge of a metal spatula to smooth walls, slope roofs and square up corners. Hollow out windows, doorways and tunnels with a large serving spoon. Bring out the beach toys and put them to work this winter.

If nothing else helps you appreciate the flakes that float and drift, at least acknowledge that they cover over a multitude of ugly this time of year. Barren trees become crystal statues, ruts look like rolls of cotton, dry and dead weeds shimmer like diamonds. And so it is with sinners saved by faith that we too look brand new under a blanket of grace. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow, though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” (Isaiah 1:18)

Ah, snow days, they remind us of a fresh new life in Christ. “Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:7-10)

Thoughts of God's goodness toward us should give us joy and warm our souls to the extent we make the best of our lives lived purely for Him.


**Visit www.thewordsout-brendablack.com to learn more about author Brenda Black. Order your copy of “I Stand” or “Were You Born in a Barn?” on line and receive an autographed copy today, schedule Brenda for your next event, or find out where she will be speaking and signing books this spring.