Jesus Slept on My Floor

By Brenda Black

“He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.” (Proverbs 22:11)

My house is not a palace. Oh, the man of the non-mansion is certainly the master and I am often treated like a queen with his love and kindness. But as for dimensions, our little home is cozy, quaint and suitable for two more than it is for twenty. But, fourteen of us played and prayed; dined and slept; showered and shaved; laughed and wept for nearly 48 hours straight! At times as many as twenty-three stood, sat or laid across every square inch of living space. And it worked! We were family, friends and strangers on Friday night. We were brothers and sisters in Christ by Sunday's end.

Pure hearts and gracious speech made the weekend delightful, even if one had to sleep with feet in their face or wait in line for the shower. Kind, respectful, flexible guests filled my home with joy worth all the clutter and crowdedness.

I lost count of the paper plates. I'm pretty sure they put away nearly a quarter of a beef, not to mention two gallons of ice cream, three pans of brownies, three gallons of milk and five pounds of tators! And with every bite, each satisfied grin, every sincere compliment, my heart was filled as my pantry emptied. I'd do it again in a heart beat!

There's something about the energy and joy in these young men and women that fuels my spirit. Their pure hearts, their gracious speech is evidence that they are friends of the King and that they love Jesus! Truly, to be in their midst is like being surrounded by Christ. I heard His laughter in Caroline's giggle. I saw His smile on Makena's face. I witnessed His compassion through hugs from Jordan. I saw His patience in Zach and His love for all creation in Janelle. I heard God's witty sense of humor in Caleb and saw His ability to turn strangers into friends through Laura. I took to heart Christ's faithfulness I saw in J.J. and fed on Christ's boundless joy through Luke. I watched my Lord practice forgiveness and sportsmanship in Cooper and Tyler and heard Him sing alto with the voice of Austin.

Jesus stayed at my house last weekend. He ate at my table. He slept on my floor. He hugged me and showed me love and appreciation and respect over and over. And I am blessed! Short nights, long days, dirty dishes galore and more wet towels than I thought I owned could not taint the pleasure of His company.

And just when I thought it couldn't be more perfect, I heard them sing and preach and watched these beautiful people worship. A praise band and collegiate preachers brought together for this one moment made our Sunday an offering fit for the King.

Luke pumped God's people when he proclaimed the powerful and supernatural love of God out of 1 John. Caleb took us back to Leviticus and into the Holy of Holies, then led us straight to the cross, revealing Christ in Old and New Testaments and His great sacrifice. Cooper shared from obvious sincerity, recounting the many ways this year God proved His sufficiency and grace. He challenged the congregation to live out 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Their willingness to serve, to speak out for Christ, and to worship joyfully sets a tremendous example for all ages.

My house is quiet, the furniture is back in place and the steady flow of cooking and cleaning has ceased. It looks as it did before they came, but something has definitely changed. I still hear the laughter and my home feels warm and wonderful. I am certain it is the lingering presence of the King.

Comfort of a Confidant

By Brenda Black

Some thoughts are too personal to profess; some fears too frightening to express. If spoken aloud, all of a sudden the innermost part – exposed. The hopes or disappointments seem all the more intimate and the fears loom larger than life once released from deep down inside. It takes a special person, a profoundly trustworthy soul, to hear the depths of my heart. I'm blessed when I discover such a friend that can handle the bare, ugly truth of my humanity and love me in spite of myself and all the baggage.

It's tough sometimes being the preacher's wife. We are busy listening and loving on everybody else and forget to tend to our own temples and tents. Fielding phone calls, praying for the saints, hostess to any and all who drop in and right-hand gal to the shepherd who pastors a flock, who often turns to the shepherdess as often as they turn to the shepherd. Truly, I do not begrudge any of it. I'm a born rescuer and problem solver. I count it a holy honor to stand in the gap as prayer warrior. I love entertaining and hospitality is my middle name! I love caring for people.

Frankly, it's not just being a pastor's wife. It's just life! I'm the radar for all things lost within and without my humble abode. From within the refrigerator to the file cabinet, barn lot, backseat of the car or bed of a pick up truck, I'm supposed to know where every jot and tittle is kept. And at a moment's notice. No matter how long my day or how hard I work, it is not over until the family is fed and the dishes and laundry stowed and my deadlines are met.

I'm called upon to be herdsman, landscape artist, vet, physician, accountant, chef and spell checker all rolled into one. I open gates and roll bale rings, haul buckets of feed and pull up fence posts. So tell me, where is my unpaid hired hand when it's time to fry a hamburger, mop the floor or do the dishes? When it's all said and done, it's not even actually the physical labor that exhausts me as much as the mental wear and tear of not having the time to deal with things on my mind. It's the negative press and worldly nonsense. It's my own aches and pains or the disconcerting word of a friend who's critically sick.

The breaking point of accumulated weariness causes me to long for someone who'll share my overload by simply letting me vent. And not judge me for it. One who has walked this same road. A person who can take it with a grain of grace when I spew and spill it all over her. Unfortunately, I fail miserably at calling on others when I'm the one in need of encouragement or help. When I'm feeling defeated or weak in my walk, when I'm weary of just about every little thing that trickles down the stream of my life, I confess, I'm lousy at seeking solace from someone else.

I stash it down, deal with it by grit and determination. I ignore it or dwell on it. I ponder it, pray about it, even deny it. But over the course of time, I find the same cycle revolving full circle. I can't take IT anymore! I feel isolated and worn to a frazzle. I feel misunderstood and taken for granted. And I need someone to just hear my heart and tolerate my hurt and fill my head with positive words. I need a faithful friend.

The Lord has given me a select few over the years, with whom I can be real. One most recently pulled the pressures from me until I felt a sweet release. She patiently listened to whining in the midst of justified worry. She sorted through my sinful contributions and acknowledged the areas I was managing properly. My friend heard my heart, felt my fears, tempered my anger and subdued my anxiety over things only God could handle.

Most importantly: she prayed for me and pointed me to Christ. Yep, the preacher's wife needs shepherding too. I'm thankful for the comfort of such a confidant and count her among God's greatest blessings in my life. Why do I wait so long to be transparent when the love of a godly friend is one of the Lord's most kind and incredible ways He has of reaching into our lives and showing us we never walk alone.

“The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out.” (Proverbs 20:5)

copyright 2012 - The Word's Out-Brenda Black

From Killer to Lover

By Brenda Black

David Letterman has his Top 10. College basketball it's Big 12. And the Apostle Paul has his Trusted 37+. You'll find them listed in Romans 16.

“I commend to you our sister Phoebe, a servant of the church in Cenchrea...Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus...Greet my dear friend Epenetus, who was the first convert to Christ in the province of Asia...

“Greet Mary, who worked very hard for you...Andronicus and Junias, my relatives who have been in prison with me...Ampliatus, whom I love in the Lord...Urbanus, our fellow worker in Christ, and my dear friend Stachys.

“Greet Apelles, tested and approved in Christ...the household of Aristobulus...Herodion, my relative...the household of Narcissus who are in the L
ord.

“Greet Tryphena and Tryphosa, those women who work hard in the Lord...my dear friend Persia...Rufus, chosen in the Lord, and his mother, who has been a mother to me, too...

“Greet Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermes, Patrobas, Hermas and the brothers with them. Greet Philologus, Julia, Nereus and his sister, and Olympas and all the saints with them.

“Greet one another with a holy kiss.” (Romans 16:1-16a)

Whew! That's just a few of the faithful followers in the church at Rome. Another eight are listed in verses 21-24 who didn't make the trip with Phoebe, but sent their greetings. But why would Paul take the time to call them out individually and attribute compliments and character assessments? Because as much as Paul was a learned philosopher, he was also a loving friend.

This tender side is yet more evidence of the true transformation that opened his blinded eyes when He met the Messiah on the Damascus Road. Remember, before he was Paul, he was Saul who authorized the murder of Stephen when “...they all rushed at him, dragged him out of the city and began to stone him. Meanwhile, the witnesses laid their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul.” (Acts. 7:57b-58) He watched an innocent young man, with the face of an angel, fall on his knees and cry out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” (Acts 60) And then Saul watched him die and he walked away.

The Paul in the book of Romans is not the same cold-hearted legalist of early Acts. He is now a believer, a brother, a teacher and a friend. God put the humanity into the man and made it possible for him to love again. So by the time a letter is written to Corinth, Paul spells out the kind of friend he aspires to be; the kind of servant he is to the King. He defines true discipleship in agape terms of endearment.

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)

Paul learned how to love because he was first loved by God. Though he amassed great knowledge and garnered tremendous respect, this love factor softened his heart and fit him for service that would last thousands of years past his life on earth. That's the kind of lasting impact from a love that is perfect, a love that is patient and kind and does not envy or boast; a love that is not proud or rude or self-seeking and is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs.

The love of God that Paul felt toward his companions was love that “protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Cor. 13:7)

That's the kind of love that changed a killer's destiny into a blessed legacy where the numbers have grown from 37 in a local church to millions worldwide who read the Pauline letters and discover for themselves that we have nothing if we have not been changed by the love of God.

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Cor. 13:13)

As a Matter of Fact, You Matter

As a Matter of Fact, You Matter
By Brenda Black


“There are 6.8 billion people on the planet,” says a Forbes headline in its Nov. 22, 2010 issue. “These are the 68 who matter.” The opening paragraph on p. 76 begins: “We are fascinated by power. We stand in awe of those who apply it adroitly – and in fear of those who abuse it. We lust for power. Everyone would rather be a hammer than a nail. The people on this list were chosen because in various ways, they bend the world to their will. They are heads of state, major religious figures, entrepreneurs and outlaws...”

What a sad indictment for the remaining billions of us! I despise the pugnacious assumptions and arrogant overtones of such a declaration because I've read something elsewhere that trumps Forbes' editorial angst. You'll find it written in red in the book of John, chapter 3: “'For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” (John 3:16-17) You matter. When the world screams insignificance, remember God's lavish attention toward all of us on this planet – not just the proud or powerful.

If you have fallen prey to such hollow mandates telling you fame and fortune are the determining factors for a life to have purpose, think again. Charles Schultz, the creator of the “Peanuts” comic strip challenges that perspective with a quiz. You don't have to actually answer the questions below. Just read straight through, and you'll get the point.

1) Name the five wealthiest people in the world. 2) Name the last five Heisman trophy winners. 3) Name the last five winners of Miss America. 4) Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize. 5) Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress. 6) Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

How did you do? The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. The answers to the above questions are not second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do with this one: 1) List a few teachers who aided your journey through school. 2) Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time. 3) Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile. 4) Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special. 5) Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

These names are right on the tip of your tongue. They dwell in the depths of your heart and reside in the recesses of your mind. The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the grandest credentials, the most money, or the prestigious awards. They are the ones that show you matter. When the world screams insignificance, remember your friends' lavish attention.

As a matter of fact, God's gracious attention toward us often comes through the love of others. His mysterious desire to dwell in the midst of humanity is beautifully manifested when we love one another like He loves us.

“'As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you to go and bear fruit – fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other.'” (John 15:9-17)

While Forbes' article featured the rich and famous of the world, God's roster of significant people includes only those who call Him Lord. But the rewards for the significantly saved will not deteriorate. His lavish love is eternal. And that's a fact because you matter.

During the holidays, please remember those who may feel invisible or insignificant or alone this time of year. Be God's friend. Be their friend. Show them in a loving way how they matter to you and to Him.

Front Porch Hospitality

Front Porch Hospitality
By Brenda Black

Once upon a time, folks used to sit outside on a spring evening and talk. Neighbors knew one another and the front porch was public domain whether you lived in its attached house or two doors down. A swing, a chair, a rail and steps fashioned a gathering place. Often, those who assembled would sing or pick guitars and each one would find their part – on the porch and in the music. That's where harmony was born and that's where harmony flourished.

I was reminded of those Andy Griffith days as I pulled up another chair to join a throng of college kids all sitting serenely in front of my home and postponing their departure back to campus and studies. The social circle concluded a busy and fun weekend filled with sunshine, horseback rides, Easter egg hunts and wonderful worship. I loved their chatter as well as their silent company. Just having them in my home for a couple of days brought life and laughter and loads of singing from this group of co-eds who'd just returned from a choir tour in Washington, D.C. and New York City.

Little sleep, rich family recipes and plenty of sweets rendered me sluggish in body. But my soul was at peace, content with the final quiet moments of reflection and camaraderie. There's something melodious in witnessing a group of friends so comfortable with one another. Their friendship seemed as harmonious as their voices I'd heard blended together when they blessed our family with tidbits of their choir's repertoire. There was a sweet, sweet spirit on my porch. And I know it was the presence of the Lord in each of these delightful young adults.

How quickly the Lord has meshed their hearts and lives together along with their voices. They've come from all over the U.S. and ended up in a huddle where they feel safe enough to be themselves. What a blessing to observe their love and respect for one another and to watch them appreciate their differences. Harmony of hearts. Harmony of happiness. Harmony of hilarity. Harmony of back scratches and hugs and hopes and dreams. Their song of friendship was beautiful to hear and see.

Spending a few hours with them sent my mind back to a time when I brought home a Christian band from college. My mom welcomed the troop and made room for each in her heart and home. I'm glad I learned the importance of hospitality or I would have missed most recently one of the sweetest Easter weekends I've ever experienced.

As I pondered the Christ of Easter who died with outstretched hands on a cross, then rose from the grave to extend his loving grace, it dawned on me that He did all that in order to one day welcome me home. I have no doubt there will be a porch on my mansion and there will certainly be singing – perfect pitch and harmony – all waiting for me because of God's amazing hospitality.

In Romans 12:9-13, the Apostle Paul talks about such open-arm sentiment that we are to emulate while still here on earth.

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”

Like the folks in Mayberry who positioned themselves available on a front porch, we are fortunate to have quality companionship when we open our lives to others and welcome them in. After an extended winter of repetitive cycles of isolation, it's time to get back out there and invite people to come visit. Make your home a haven. Sit on the porch and talk and laugh and sing. Listen to the silent comfort of togetherness between friends. Most importantly, share your faith and the love of Christ with any who grace your threshold or step onto your porch.

The song of life is so much sweeter when we merge our voices and venture our affections with one another. A bunch of college kids taught me that this Easter.

True Test of Loyalty

True Test of Loyalty
By Brenda Black

One thing that ends a friendship the quickest in my book is disloyalty. My greatest hurdle to forgiveness is getting past broken trust. I pray about it and grapple with it and try to move past it. For me, it takes time and God's poignant conviction as the two ingredients that deliver freedom from the wound inflicted by a friend who stabbed me in the back or foolishly passed along what had been discretely shared with them in confidence. Don't lie to me and don't gossip about me behind my back. I can get along with about any personality, but it takes everything in my power and the Lord's supernatural strength to get me past broken trust.

I found a kindred spirit in the man of King David. I discovered his staunch adherence to forthright loyalty in 1 Chronicles 12. David has been banished from the presence of Saul and is holed up in a cave at Ziklag. He has only a small army of thirty chiefs, his “Mighty Men.” Make no mistake - his small troop of warriors was fit to serve.

“They were armed with bows and were able to shoot arrows or to sling stones right-handed or left-handed; they were kinsmen of Saul from the tribe of Benjamin.” (1 Chr. 12:2)

These men had proven their faithfulness time and again. They were strong supporters of David's right to the throne and three of them accomplished tremendous feats of selfless bravery in order to protect or accommodate their king.

These men were more than mighty, they were trustworthy. Safety in friendship is essential and familiarity breeds confidence, especially when life depends upon it. So when a new group of Gadite defects and more Benjamites search out David in his desert stronghold, he has every reason to question their intention in verses 8-17. “They were brave warriors, ready for battle and able to handle the shield and spear. Their faces were the faces of lions, and they were as swift as gazelles in the mountains...

“These Gadites were army commanders; the least was a match for a hundred, and the greatest for a thousand. It was they who crossed the Jordan in the first month when it was overflowing all its banks, and they put to flight everyone living in the valleys, to the east and to the west.

“Other Benjamites and some men from Judah also came to David in his stronghold. David went out to meet them and said to them, 'If you have come to me in peace, to help me, I am ready to have you untie with me. But if you have come to betray me to my enemies when my hands are free from violence, may the God of our fathers see it and judge you.'”

Stop right there. David has a mere 30 men and he's faced with commanders and fierce fighters and he hesitates to take them into his confidence. Get real! In David's desperate circumstance, how could he pass up such offers? Because taking a deceiver into his camp was more deadly than fighting with a faithful remnant.

Not until they decried fierce loyalty were they accepted. “We are yours, O David! We are with you, O son of Jesse! Success, success to you, and success to those who help you, for your God will help you!” (vs. 18b)

That's what David was waiting to hear. Loyalty to both himself and to the God he served. Trustworthy friends are not in the relationship for only what they can get out of it. They are in the friendship to insure that the other achieves the best as well. Looking out for the interest of others should be a prerequisite for true friendships. More importantly, a common trust in the Lord God insures that the relationship is built on TRUTH!

“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Cor. 13:7)

As for me, I often need reminding that love also “keeps no record of wrongs.”

It takes trust to build trust. It takes love to forgive when trusts are broken. It takes God to offer a Son sacrifice who would lay down His life. And it takes God to build an army that would lay down their lives for one another. “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

Where did you find love this Valentine's Weekend

This weekend, I found love. I saw love on some dear faces and through innocent embraces. I felt love through selfless service and rediscovered true love from my sweetheart. After you hear where I found love, tell me where you witnessed love in action this Valentine's!

My husband and I visited with a sweet lady Friday night in the hospital, while she recuperated from a terrifying and near fatal bout with fluid around her heart. She told of the suffocating panic she experienced and then her emergency trip by helicopter. But when I looked into her eyes and held the hand of this incredible woman, I saw love. She focused on the bright side with delightful grace and thanked God for each little detail that helped her survive. She warmed my soul and showed me loveliness in its truest form.

We dined at a nice seafood restaurant after our hospital visit and loitered near the lobster tank with a standing, hungry crowd. While most of the adults avoided eye contact by staring at the floor, shuffling their belongings or talking on their cell phones, three little girls opened their arms and demonstrated unashamed love in the company of strangers. In a matter of seconds, the mini misses became bosom buddies by sharing their exuberance for claws and tails and the attention of one another. One embraced her companion and declared - "She's my best friend!" When the squeeze subsided, the third girl out asked, "Can I be your best friend too?" And all agreed. How lovely.

I watched a busy mother of five pack away four pans of homemade cheese cake she took the time to bake and deliver to the church. I watched a youth advisor slop spaghetti sauce for an hour and a worship leader inspire a group of teens to master music, comedy and compassion all for one night of worship. I witnessed a building filled with generosity and gratitude to support a youth missions trip and saw teens serve their elders. I saw love in action.

I just gave my hubby a silly card and we giggled as we plopped across the bed, not quite ready for the day to end. Then I opened a pastel pink and beautiful, lacy, white card filled with tender sentiment and honest devotion from my husband of 23 years. I melted into his arms where it felt safe and warm knowing he still thinks I make him complete. I'm glad I found true love.

Your turn!!!! Where did you see love?