Powerful Storms and Personal Scars

By Brenda Black

Giant trees uprooted. Branches strewn across a freshly cut lawn. Leaves and twigs litter a stretch along either side of the highway about a half mile long. No news will cover this small swath of a summer storm's havoc. No volunteer help will come from two states away to saw through fallen timbers or rake scattered leaves. Only a few homes are affected. No big deal.

I don't know the folks who hunkered down inside their old farm houses and heard the howling winds rip over their homes. I have no idea how many years ago they planted those lovely trees, full of bloom and beauty. So, whether the damage came by tornado or straight line winds is irrelevant. If it only ravaged their few acres and missed a nearby city far more populated doesn't matter. The gaping holes in the ground once filled by sturdy roots still leave scars. The fear brings real tears, regardless of the scope of the storm.

Usually only news of big, bad stuff that impacts multitudes is brought to the forefront. In the meantime, every human endures their own small storms; winces from their own scars. Every one of us is broken or uprooted in some way. And each time, it is a big deal – to the broken one and to the One who heals brokenness.

I passed those storm-hit homesteads early one morning. By evening, when I drove by, headed the opposite direction, I noticed a contrast between neighboring properties. Obvious clean up at one and nothing at the next. A big fallen tree in one yard transformed in a matter of hours into stacks of firewood with the help of friends and family. Scattered limbs became brush piles through the work of many. Next door, the yard remained covered in shattered remains. No activity. No help. No change.

Inevitably, storms will slam into our lives. The mess they leave will demand our attention. We can go it alone and take longer than necessary to clean up the clutter. We can call for help and hasten the healing. Or we can ignore it and let it lay in our lives and wilt and wither or slowly rot and kill the green grass underneath.

Honestly, there is no excuse in the body of Christ to ever endure the hard things alone. Often, the best help comes from someone who's been through a similar storm and knows exactly what you need to pick up the pieces. Jesus calls us to be His hands and feet, His heart and His helper. He also calls us to reach out and receive. It's a two-way street.

“Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.” (1 Peter 3:8)

That's heavenly advice. And it comes in pretty handy when neighbors are in crisis. Harmony makes the work easier. Sympathy soothes an aching heart. Love just makes the world a better place and certainly covers over a multitude of sins (1 Pet. 4:8). Compassion goes a long way in a broken life because we just need to know that someone cares and understands. Somehow that makes it possible to press on and shapes the family of God into the Father's image.

 The final act is humility. Living in a world with hurt may call on us to sweat a little and haul some wood or we may need to sit and listen and pray unselfishly. You can't care about the trial in someone else's life if you are consumed with your own real or imagined tragedies. Sometimes, the best medicine for brokenness is to help somebody else mend. You just might find your small gesture is a very big deal in the middle of someone's storm.

Entering the Empathy Zone

By Brenda Black

Warning: For the more stoic, this may be difficult to read. I'm a hugger and a crier and a share your pain, feel your pain, walk through your pain with you kind of gal. So for those of you who shed no tears and cringe at the thought of an embrace, this is your final notice...you are about to enter the “empathy zone.”

Some call it a blessing; others a curse – this ability to put yourself into the shoes and soul of another. I believe it is a gift, all be it a gift that must be handled with care. For the personal toll it sometimes takes can wreak havoc on one who lovingly bears the weight of so many.

As a pastor's wife, I take on the cares of many. As our years of ministry grow, so does the list of those I love and continue to lift in prayer. But long before I was a preacher's wife, I was a confidant to many a classmate who trusted me with their biggest worries and deepest secrets. In college, though I didn't work as a Resident Assistant, I frequently had girls at my door asking for counsel and prayer and a sympathetic ear. I guess God was grooming me for such a time as this.

Bearing another's burdens is indeed a heavy burden to bear and there are times when I feel overwhelmed by the emotional strain, but I never have regretted bringing hope and compassion to someone in crisis. Rejoicing with those who rejoice is a whole lot more comfortable than mourning with those who mourn. Both are important. The latter just demands a greater emotional investment.

So, what's that investment worth? It's worth gold to the one it is given. It's full of grace by the One from which it is gifted.

“As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit – just as you were called to one hope when you were called – one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

“But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. This is why it says:

“'When he ascended on high, he led captives in his train and gave gifts to men.'” (Ephesians 4:1-8)

In just one week I used this “unity of Spirit, to rejoice and mourn for countless friends watching their babies grow up and move on. I grieved deeply for a friend who endured an unimaginable tragedy. I cheered and laughed and celebrated end-of-school accomplishments for dozens of young friends. I partnered in prayer for sadness and final exam stress.

It's called the human touch when one person cares enough to feel for someone else. It's exhausting and exhilarating! This charge to be the Lord's helping hands and compassionate heart gives hope when it's needed most. And bearing one another's burdens sends a clear message to the rest of the world about the Christ we serve.

“'A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. All men will know that you are my disciples fi you love one another.'” (John 13:34-35)

One of the best ways to show love is to live the pain of another as if it were your own, for no one should have to ever go through the hard things in life alone. It's your choice whether you enter the empathy zone or keep a safe distance. Just know that once you cross the threshold, you'll never be the same and that's a good touchy-feely thing.