May Day! May Day! Tears on the Way!

By Brenda Black

No matter how many years pass, no matter how far removed from the direct ties to a graduate, I still cry at commencements. I scan the audience, spotting moms who are doing their level best to just keep it all together for the moment. Instantly, I'm in their skin and I'm the mess. My heart races, tears trickle and I find myself digging through my purse for a tissue to blot damp cheeks marked by empathy.

Why, oh why, does Mother's Day have to come in the same month, and often on the same day as graduation ceremonies? The one-two punch to a maternal gut is nearly more than a momma can take standing up! I liken it to post traumatic stress, with flashbacks from birthing pains to toddler tumbles each time you attend “the last” of something. Last game, last day, last performance, last award banquet, last...last...last. All such finality causes the brain to churn up memories of all the firsts.

Numbly you go through the motions surrounded by other shell-shocked parents, pretending to be celebrating rather than grieving. The first lost tooth, the first step, the first word and that big ol' bus swallowing your five year old up on the first day of school jolts one into the awful reality that 13 years have come and gone in a flash.

And there they stand, young men and young women, taller and stronger than their folks. Still, in a mother's eyes these are infants just yesterday rocked and swaddled. Doggone it, I'm crying again just thinking about it!

From one who's been there and survived, my heart goes out to each of you dying a little inside. Trust me when I tell you, there are more great days ahead. There will be phone calls home late in the night when mom's voice is the only one those big kids want to hear. Through the grogginess and worries, your heart will be filled. You'll be squeezed hard and lifted off the floor with bear hugs and big sighs, accompanied by all that college laundry when they come home for a visit. Your world will widen with them. New people, new places, new topics of conversation are just around the bend.

And then one day you sense the greatest change; without warning you've become dear friends. Oh, you will always be their mama, but this shift is something magical. As they transform into independent adults, you are escorted past another milestone. There you'll be ushered to a front row seat to enjoy the fruit of your labor. Smiles will come again, but there is one caveat. You'll still cry.

It's just part of the mother phenomenon.

©2016 The Word's Out-Brenda Black

Now What?

By Brenda Black

You know you've either arrived or you are an old has-been when you start getting invitations to share your wisdom. I'm still pondering which category I fall under, as I plan for two school events where I'll answer questions about career choices and next steps for the next generation.

Oh, to be young and full of potentiality. It sounds exciting...and terrifying! I remember those “simpler” days when destiny was shaped more by fantasies of dreams becoming reality than true preparation for the real world. Junior high and high school years were a time for exploration and someone else footing the bill and assuming the responsibilities. Humans at that age think time lasts forever, until suddenly it's graduation day. The questions fly at these young adults like pointed darts whizzing past their heads: “Where are you going to school?” “What are you going to major in?” What do you want to do with your life?” “Any idea where you want to live?”

Their answers are hits and misses on the target of life, mostly just thrust toward a point two to four years down the road, with hopes they hit a bullseye. I mean, who actually, truly, honestly knows exactly what they want out of life at 17 or 18 years of age? Not many of us. Oh sure, we all have likes and interests and skill sets that cause us to migrate toward career choices. There are some who've known since they were eight what they want to do to make a living. For the most part, the rest of the human race just hopes something hits them in the face that they love and for which they can be paid.

So, May rolls around, and countless fresh-faced teens, who are headed to their twenties, embark on their journeys to success. They hear the commencement speeches and march to “Pomp and Circumstance.” They count the cards laden with cash and shop for dorm room furnishings. Then they ponder, like this 50-something, just what do I want to be and what do I want to accomplish?

May I offer a little advice...pray about it! From the classes you take to the roommate you select, ask for godly wisdom. In big decisions and small, seek counsel from the One who knows you best. God created you and has a purpose for your life. The plan is in place; your task is to pursue it. From one who's always sensed a particular calling to communicate, I've learned that if you listen with your heart as well as your head, you'll find your way and you'll discover your destiny.

Go forth, young grads, filled less with fear and more with promise. For the Lord goes before you and will whisper in your ear profound wisdom, IF you listen. “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it,' Isaiah 30:21.”