Power in the Tongue of the Young

By Brenda Black

Careless words. Carefully guarded words. Profound words. When I asked my friends what they thought I should write about this week, I received a variety of ideas. Though most sounded quite isolated and unrelated, the Lord revealed something powerfully connected from among a sampling of opinions. The message: There is power in the tongue of the young – for better or for worse.

The bad news first. Youth culture has abbreviated the English language to fragmented acrostics and basically butchered spelling through rushed text messages and tiny keyboards. All too often, instead of setting a better example, adults begin to follow the contemporary habits of those younger. Like many things turned upside down in this world today, where once the spoken word made its way onto the typed page, now the type makes its way into oral conversation. My BFFs and those who like to LOL may find nothing wrong with such patterns. But it seems these days that everything is trivialized and casual to the extent that words lack deep meaning.

As one friend remarked, “One of my pet peeves is people saying 'good luck' or 'knock on wood.'” She sees the flippant banter as carelessness with words. “What do those words really mean? NOTHING! We've traded God's blessings for societal sayings that mean nothing.”

“Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise – the fruit of lips that confess his name.”( Hebrews 13:15)

The tough news next. Our young people face a hostile culture where wrong is glorified as right and right is shamed into suffocating corners. Their words, no matter how kind or true or meaningful can be stifled by ignorant and hateful intimidation.

A story related by friend number two tells of a 14-year old girl from California. In one afternoon, the adult learned just how much pressure this girl endures. “She had some of the best questions about current news events that I'd been asked lately. She wanted to know my opinion about DOMA, the Zimmerman trial and race relations in this country. She expressed that growing up in California and going to public school that she had to watch that she didn't express her conservative religious views to the wrong people! I couldn't help but see how much it really bothered her to watch everything she said or be taken out of context.”

May godly wisdom be this child's armor so that she doesn't fall prey to wickedness. I pray she dwells on Psalm 141:3-4 and follows the instruction to “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil, to take part in wicked deeds with men who are evildoers; let me not eat of their delicacies.”

Lest you think American youth are the only ones who face pressure, then you haven't seen the powerful interview of a 12 year old Egyptian. Ali Ahmed lives in the midst of a revolution, but stands for what he knows is right. As an opposition protestor, he explains with amazing eloquence why over 20 million Egyptians have taken to the streets to protest Mohammed Morsi's government. He calls out ignorance, bad politics and misguided social behavior. You can view his highly intelligent and insightful interview below. 

As yet another friend said, “We are blessed to be sheltered from this turmoil, but at the same time our children are busy with stupid things. He knows more at 12 than most adults here.”

“For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.” (Matthew 12:34b-36)

Our children need adults who'll speak truth and talk of things that have eternal value. And they need courage to carry that verbal baton for the next generation and not falter. Paul advised a young follower many years ago to watch the tongue. “Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to your care. Turn away from godless chatter and the opposing ideas of what is falsely called knowledge, which some have professed and in so doing have wandered from the faith.” (1 Timothy 6:20-21a)

And he closes his thoughts with the same blessing I extend to our youth – “Grace be with you.” May you use your words for good.

What's a Word Worth

Brenda Black

In a dog-eat-dog world, one misspoken word is like fresh meat to a starving stray. And that one word, from one sentence at one moment in time can mean ruination to the person behind the lips that uttered it. Even if explained, retracted or clarified, a loosed word is not easily tamed.

The whole process is not entirely fair, for none of us is perfect. We each often speak before we think. It's just that most of us don't have 50 microphones shoved in our faces recording it, then playing it over and over again. So tell me, how do you think you would fare if every time you opened your mouth, someone was waiting to pounce and devour your reputation or your career? I know I would panic and prefer being a mute than being that fresh meat for the media.

This past week made me think about some of my own verbal blunders. A slip of the tongue has left me looking insensitive, stupid, arrogant, indifferent, sassy or unkind. I've jumped to conclusions. I've ignored obvious clues that would guide me through a set of circumstances. There have been times when I wish I could erase certain words and start all over again. Yes, words -- I've had to eat them.

Ever been there? Said one thing, meant another? Have you spoken and then freaked because you were terribly misinterpreted? I've lost friends and gained enemies over seemingly insignificant, ill-spoken words! At times, I've tried desperately to set the record straight – to no avail. More words meant to mend just splintered the boards I was trying to nail back in the fence.

There is power in the tongue – the power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21). Words aptly spoken are sweet (Prov. 25:11) and words misspoken, like poison (Prov. 15:1-4). And since none of us has mastered the golden lips and silver tongue of no mistakes when it comes to loquacious expressions, perhaps there's room for grace when someone else steps on his tongue. Remember how we should pray:

“'Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.'

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:12-15)

Instead of assuming the worst, how about extending a second chance. Rewind! Do-over! Please, explain yourself! I'll listen to you, if you'll do the same for me.

In addition to praying to forgive, Jesus instructed that we should be very careful when we condemn others without taking a hard look at ourselves.

“'Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

“'Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, “Let me take the speck out of your eye,” when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.'” (Matthew 7:1-5)

Whether it's a plank in the eye or fumbling lips, it's more important that we help a brother or sister out of sin, than condemn them.

It's sure to happen again. Some slip of the tongue will send the pack circling and salivating. When it happens, how will you react? With patience, forgiveness, or consideration? Will you check the facts, understand the pressure, or assume the worst of the person? Are you going to treat the vocal fumbler as you'd want to be treated?

I'm trying to learn and practice respect in a land of hyper assumption where always the worst is assumed, and often fabricated. God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason -- so we'd listen more and talk less. He must have known how much trouble we'd get ourselves into with teeth and tongue and lips. But He also gave us heads to think and hearts to forgive. How about we put those to work as much or more the next time somebody says something he or she regrets.

Communication Cumshaw

Communication Cumshaw

By Brenda Black


I know what I think you know you said, but what you said is not what you think you know you said. The basis for every argument. The reason behind office conflict, sibling rivalry and continental warfare - misunderstanding. Though words pack a powerful punch in person, they often leave readers assuming when lifted from a page because there is more to language than just words. Communication is actually only 7% words. Non-verbal messages constitute 55% and tone makes up the remaining 38%.

Face to face and within earshot, most folks get the point whether it is spelled out or not. They see the warmth in your eyes or sense the agitation in your quivering lips. They hear the escalating volume and notice clench fists stiffly poised at your side. Leaning forward, folded arms, darting glances each send a message of attentiveness or disregard.

So how does someone make absolutely sure they are interpreted correctly when we instant message, email, facebook and twitter all day long. In cyberspace there is no face to face or human touch to measure the meaning behind each phrase. Are we getting the right point across when the best we have to offer is a colon, dash and bracket to convey smiles or frowns.

The fear beyond faceless conversation these days is that those who communicate mostly in cyberspace can leave a permanent paper trail. Numbed by the constancy of instant accessibility, computer communicators may forget that what they type or twitter could end up documented for infinity. My advice: choose words wisely.

With moment-by-moment posts and the quick click of “share,” comes the responsibility to be just as quick thinking and careful about vain speech. The Scriptures caution the use of vile words. They also warn against wasted words.

“There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven...A time to be silent, and a time to speak.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1,7b NASB)

It is not necessary to tell the world everything. The pressure to expound every little detail in your life may eventually come back to haunt you. Consider a law student who lost a job because of photos of her wilder days shared on a community billboard. Think about the number of politicians ground through the media sieve of dirt-digging. I'm not suggesting double standards nor hypocritical personas. I am in the favor of tasteful honesty and even more importantly, ministry.

Rather than blow up or blow off steam through computer communities, I prefer to hold out hope, write out prayer, offer a blessing or comfort with sincerity. Can readers comprehend the emotion behind those gestures. I think they can. There is a marked difference between pat answers and heart-felt prayers. Encouragement is easily recognized by positive terms.

Communication may consist of words, body language and tone, but nothing speaks louder than genuine love and concern in person or on a page. And God abides in that kind of conversation. “He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.” (Proverbs 22:11)

To the younger generation that is caught up in the computer communication craze, I offer the same council that Paul gave to Timothy: “Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young,” he begins. But rather than have his charge believe he deserves respect, Paul teaches him how to obtain it through careful example. “But set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” (1 Timothy 4:12)